Wednesday, February 27, 2008
a flat fish
I lectured for six hours today. Fortunate, then, that I love the sound of my own voice...
But Because of Reasons,* I have commenced this academic year without my usual 'spark'.
My enthusiasm, my cackling exuberance. My wild excitablity, the immense looove I have for my subject.
My wildly crackling inner fire.
I worried that the students would be disappointed: many have enrolled in one of my courses because it received "rave reviews", so to speak.
Not blowing my own trumpet, just saying.
I have ended up with a HUUUUGE class, all with the expectation of something spectacular.
They all sat quietly throughout today's class.
Today I was aware of my own flatness. At the end, they all sat there, silent.
One student stayed back : that was fantastic! she said. I thought to myself, 'not my usual standard....'
I drove home, past the usual trees, across the usual bridge.
Stopped for the usual holdups.
Drove down the hill to the usual horizon.
Storms roll over Sydney, then the sun erupts again.
The wind blows one way, then the other.
You absorb all things, and continue on.
* I pinched that phrase from Thirdcat. It makes me laugh.