Wednesday, December 10, 2008

in which the fish tries to avoid dreaming too much

Queensland was wondrous. It was burning hot, tropical, and satisfyingly filled with unexpected wildlife.
The architecture was very majestic and colossal.

Gallery  of Modern Art, Queensland

One night in Brisbane I met Jelly. She was brave enough to come to drinks at GOMA.
May I assure all those concerned that she is slim and lovely as well as clever! Don't believe a word about cellulite: she has none that I could see.
Meeting a blogfriend is interesting because you already know the person quite well, so you don't have to indulge in all that explorarory smalltalk, which can be tedious. It's also confronting to have someone looking you in the face, your real face, and seeing the real person rather than the bitsy online version.
Jelly even took me on a tour across the bridge! Then we had lots of late night chatting about life, the universe and axolotls.

Gallery of Modern Art, Brisbane, Queensland

I am home again. Feeling more than ever like I have made myself up, and thus am trying to firmly plant myself in the here and now.
Difficult, sometimes.
In fact I spent all of Tuesday in some strange imaginary place, dreaming and wafting. Having lived a life in words for a month, I am eager to drift back into the Nest of Fish, for some picture making. I'm rather worn out, on Monday I gave a very strange impromptu paper, in which I took rather a large risk and talked about a load of nonsense. I am not able to gauge a completely accurate response, as four people came and requested copies, one complimented my on my mesmerising voice , but one lady sat the entire time staring at me with a look of utter disdain, or perhaps disgust: frowning with one eyebrow raised. Pft, I say.
I talked about falling into things, I talked about pretending to be Ariadne.
I remembered my synaesthesia, which seemed to disappear in my twenties. I was reminded of it, I was reminded of trying to articulate it and having no idea how.

I talked about smelling things, of feeling things. Of looking and hearing.
Some of you out there know what I mean.

Resident of the Garden at Griffith University.

Self Portrait with Bill Henson Image

This morning I was surprised that the ocean was so warm. I thought it may have been the sea welcoming me home, and said as much. But the sea merely told me, very curtly, not to get too comfortable, and pinned me by the head to the sand.

Ahh. Home.

Now I must try to be here in the here. I must anchor myself to the present, I must not dream of the faraway.
I am here, this is now. I am here. Now.

But just for a minute, if I close my eyes,

I am still here

and elsewhere.


Blue Mountains Mary said...

Hello Fish Girl -

I know of what you write.

And was very glad to spend an hour or so reading your friend Jelly's blog..

the projectivist said...

lovely pic of the gallery there - like a delicate glass box, balancing the extraordinary weight of the roof.

how great is GOMA?!!

meggie said...

Nice pic of you!
How wonderful that you met Jelly! You two lucky souls.
Welcome home...

little red hen said...

Maybe the lady's look was not one of distain but rather intense concentration!

Suse said...

I always feel like when I visit your blog I should say something profound, and spiritual.

But actually, I'm just pissing myself laughing at the image of the sea pinning you to the sand by your head.

Xav. said...

hello! Your blog is nice ....
Would you exchange a link with my site?

Ciao ciao from Italy

Frogdancer said...

Suse beat me to it!

Fusion said...

I never got to Queensland, the cyclone season was rampaging during the time I had set aside to go... So next time I'm down under for sure, and maybe I can meet you if I find myself Sydneyside... It is great to meet fellow bloggers.

Did you pin the ocean back? ;)

Jellyhead said...

Well fifi, if you made yourself up then you created a fabulous, warm & gorgeous woman. It was so good to meet you 'for real'!

You and the ocean with that love/hate relationship again.... always makes me smile :-)

handmaiden said...

I finally met one blogfriend that lived not too far away. We promptly had a little bit of a fling. It was fun.
Like you said Meeting a blogfriend is interesting because you already know the person quite well, so you don't have to indulge in all that explorarory smalltalk, which can be tediousI felt like I really knew the person

Of course that is not always true. One blogging buddy of mine met the man of her nightmares that way. Two years later & he is still stalking her on the net.

fifi said...

mary, it's sort of funny how these threads of people together often have much in common. But then again, perhaps it isn't.
Projectivist, it would have been nice to run into you there. I was very impressed with that whole stretch along the river.
Meggie: yes, it was like meeting a celebrity.Except that she was interesting.
Red hen, hah ha, it was definitely cynicism and to be honest, I don't really mind, because I ought be kept on my toes. There were many who liked it and said so, thankfully.
Suse: you would have laughed harder if you'd seen it .
Frog-D, :-D
Fusion, it's mightily unsettled here right now, that wondrous season of rain that deafens one minute, and blue sky that scorched the next. I still owe you a sushi from kirrakaze that I think I promised you once.
Jellyfish! the coolest girl in Goma! I love knowing the real you!!
Handmaiden, a fling sounds fun but not the stalking...a reminder that all of us just have to act in good faith that we are all who we say we are.
having said that, noone's likely to confess to picking their nose, or worse.

This was really funny though...

it still makes me laugh....

alice c said...

I turn up to write something spiritual and elevating and find that the last sentence of the last comment rather brings me down to earth!

Let me just say that I am glad you are writing, where ever you are!

Regulus said...


What was the topic of your talk? Could you relate it in brief?

Maybe some day we'll have an opportunity to meet, too.

Isabelle said...

Oh, how exciting to meet Jelly.

I just can't imagine hot at this time of year. Here at the moment it's dark and wet. Not really cold, just raw.

You're so right about meeting blog friends. It's lovely. It was lovely meeting you, for example.

Adi said...

Hello, This is my first time visiting here. Your blog is a nice,I thought I would leave my first comment. :)

Greets from
Kenali dan Kunjungi Objek Wisata di Pandeglang